Museum security guard 1: Wait, did you hear something?
Museum security guard 2: Yeah, I think it came from the gift shop.
Me, who broke into the museum and had already stolen dozens of priceless artifacts but decided to stop by the gift shop to score a snow globe:
This is oddly specific.
(Source: vinebox)
Send me no flowers (1964) 💐
Why is this so funny
(Source: catchymemes)
me as a parent
I wish that oreo cookies was my asshole
I wish your laptop was actually a Bible and your room was actually a confessional booth
time: *makes me bolder*
children: *get older*
me: *gets older too*